I live in Geezerville. It's a community of friendly folks, well over the age of consent. We can do anything because we are old and experienced. The problem is do we want to do anything. Remember, we are old and experienced and we've done a lot of things. Sometimes the only thing we want to do is get out of bed and smell the roses (or in our case the cactus). Don't get too close to the cactus. But heck, getting a poke in the nose with a cactus spine might be your big accomplishment for the day. Gotta have goals to look forward to.
Remember I said we can do just about anything --we can--it's just harder to do most of those "things." Getting around is one of them. Geezervillians drive golf carts -- flat out at 15 mph. Beware of the speeding golf cart especially if there's a free event down the block. Geezervillians looking for a bargain are dangerous.
If you see a geezer driving a real car, don't pay attention to the turn signals. No one in Geezerville knows what those things mean even though they get used. A blinking turn signal could mean I'm going to turn now, or I'm going to turn later, or I completed a turn (aren't you happy I know how to turn), or I like the sound of the blinking noise, or I can't hear the sound of the blinking noise. A turn signal is not necessarily an indication of the direction I plan to turn…it could mean "you know the other right turn." In Geezerville, we live on the edge.
As far as driving goes, many Geezervillians are short. So short you cannot see who is driving the car. Sometimes you can swear the driver is a dog hanging out the driver's side window with his ears flapping in the breeze. The dog is navigating the streets with great abandon --beware of the driving dog or the short Geezer with the driving dog. All comments about turn signals no longer apply with the short geezer driving with a dog.
While life passes us by at speed of light (35 mph) or less we muddle along. Things that have not been done before NEED to be done NOW. Never been on a cruise, choose the cruise that sails next week. We've heard there are good nursing facilities on most ships and there's definitely enough food. Same goes for road trips...go while you can as tomorrow a new set of ailments will attack.
The golden years are filled with potholes. Lots of things can trip you up, literally. Steps, ladders, ramps, streets, rugs-- these places have trippers. And after you've tripped, how do you get up? Do you just lay sprawled on the floor like an ameba without a cellphone? Another thing to remember is to wear your cellphone like a pair of shoes (but not in your shoe).
Another issue in Geezerville is the handicapped parking permit. These are coveted pieces of plastic. Younger folks aspire to that little blue permit to get a good parking space but in Geezerville, everyone has one and there are no good spaces to park. Rememer that little blue permit means we are handicapped in one way or another so don’t mess with us. What we really need is special parking for the few Geezers who are NOT handicapped as that is a rare old bird who needs recognition for living to geezerhood without any maladies.
To accommodate the geezers, our stores have lots of electric carts. Get three electric carts in a narrow aisle at the store and there's a traffic jam as no one knows how to back up. (I've always wondered if "Traffic Jam" is a flavor, and what it tastes like?) The drivers of the carts zoom down the aisles playing bumper cars with each other. Going to the store is great source of fun. It's important to keep fun in your life when you are a geezer.
As a geezer in Geezerville, life is fun and full of surprises. Keep watching this spot to find out more about life in our small town.
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