Life in Geezerville: Killer Thumb Edition

Hey Geezers...can you grow stuff? Do plants thrive with your tender loving care? Do you possess a green thumb? I bet you do. Then there's me...the geezer with the killer thumb. I hope killer thumb is a rare condition, as this geezer has it big time.

I love flowers. I talk about flowers all the time, but I hide the fact that I have a propensity to kill plants on a regular basis.  Last year, my friend Karen gave me a plant for my birthday, and I really loved it. I talked to it and watered it and took care of it, until we snowbirded away. It was starting to get wilty and brown so I gave it back to her for care and feeding during the summer, when I snowbirded away. When I returned in the late summer, I saw that the plant was thriving so I gave it to her before I could damage it again. Some geezers, like Karen, have a green thumb, and then there's me...I'm the opposite with a "killer thumb."

There have to be geezers like me. Please? I cannot be the only geezer with a killer thumb? I've been afflicted with the condition long before I became a certified geezer. I'd bring my indoor plants to my mother's home for the summer. She would talk to them, feed them, water them and get them all pretty and healthy. By the end of the summer, they looked great. She returned them to me where I tried to kill them during the rest of the year. I finally gave up and bought silk plants. They are harder to kill.

I discovered that I can plant silk flowers and greenery in my outdoor garden too. Yep...it's shameful to say this, but this geezer cannot get plants to grow. I have planters filled with realistic fake flowers. I love them. The secret is to put fake flowers in the right environment. Roses don't grow in planter boxes and mums don't grow on vines. Hobby Lobby sells some realistic geraniums that are perfect for me. 

A couple of years ago, Christiana sent me a book on how to crochet flowers. I've been crocheting flowers ever since. They are just what this geezer ordered, and they are cute. I've made dozens of them from sunflowers to tulips to cacti. They stay pretty and perky all year long. They don't need water. They are ideal for geezers like me.

So for all you killer thumb geezers, there is hope. Look at all the pretty flowers your neighbors are growing but plant fake ones in your garden. Remember, we're all in this together.