Life in Geezerville: Fluff Edition

I'm the one on the left--baby fat and all---and my still thin sister

You know, when babies are born they are chubby little rascals? We call that baby chubby and everyone thinks it's cute. So, I challenge you, what do we call geezers who have become chubby larger rascals? There’s not a good name. You don’t say “see that fat guy over there”… or “gees, she’s gained weight” ? None of those are particularly polite. Therefore, I’ve decided to call my extra poundage FLUFF. I’m not fat, I have geezer fluff—it’s the equivalent of baby fat—but, it comes later in life and sadly, it does not go away like baby fat. You know you have a case of geezer fluff if the height-weight charts say you should be 7 feet 3 inches tall for your weight but you are only 5 feet 2 inches tall. 

 

I was “that” baby who was short and chubby. I always wore the x-size clothes. I remember trying on a 6x dress that was too big for me and my mother said not to worry as I would grow into it. Then one day, when no one was looking, the baby fat melted away. I remember thinking I had a waist. I had never had a waist before but now I had one. What a treat! I was about six years old when that happened. Funny thing is, I never gained weight after that. Once I hit my current height, I weighed just about the same for 30+ years. Then…the dreaded fluff started. 

 

At first, the fluff was not all that bad. But that changed when a kind doc put me on prednisone for something or other. I was CONSTANTLY hungry for the full 21 days I was on that dratted medicine and I gained some fluff. Then, I was put on prednisone again and one more time because the condition would not clear up. A total of 63 days on prednisone put the fluff on…and it stayed and stayed and stayed. That’s my story as to why I have fluff.

 

I went to the doc who gave me the horrendous prednisone and she said, in a very nice way, that prednisone weight has 2 consequences…it comes off quickly or it stays forever…then she dropped the other shoe…I seemed to have the type that stayed forever. DARN.

 

Now I’m fluffy. I refuse to say that awful F*T word. I refuse to call anyone else that awful F*T word too. I don’t know why my friends and neighbors are fluffy, but I know it happens. I had another doc say “well at your age…” those are 4 words that all of us geezers hate to hear. We know that the next part of the phrase is something like “…you can expect to be overweight” or “you can expect to have (fill in the blank).” When a doctor starts that phrase I say “Don't be so smug. Just you wait, this will happen to YOU to!”

 

The next time you see a geezer who should be 7 foot 3 inches tall, but sadly is shorter, know that you have something in common with each other. You share geezer fluff. Then, if that fluffy geezer is your friend, celebrate with an ice cream sundae. That’s my story and I’m sticking with it. Remember, we’re all in this together.